Is Wordle the new Farmville?
Can't sleep. Probably because all I've been doing since my gastro event last Friday IS sleep. And that's okay. I've got some follow up tests to do next month, but unless I'm greatly mistaken, things are looking pretty okay. Feelin' blessed, to be sure.
This post isn't really about Wordle, just did that to get your attention. LOL! Flexing my marketing skills. Trying to stay away from politics. If you're on Twitter, you've probably seen the tweets asking dumb questions. I don't ever answer them, I figure that somehow they're fishing for something and I'm not bright enough to know what. So, I thought I would answer some of them here to amuse myself.
Who is the most famous person you've met? Depends.
In the political arena, VP Fritz Mondale (spilled potato salad on his foot at Debbi's high school graduation). Awkward. I will never understand why they chose to use paper plates at such a ritzy reception, but be that as it may, yep. Reached out to shake his hand when Mom introduced me and there it went. My mother wanted to die, I'm quite certain. Fritz took it well though. Laughed it off. The Secret Service - not so much. It's probably the first time they were ever confronted with terrorism by mayonnaise. Completely unprepared they were for this.
In the entertainment arena, quite a few. But perhaps the one most asked about is Oprah. Yeah, not a great experience. When I was in my last semester at Towson, I had the opportunity to intern at Baltimore's Channel 13. It was amazing. Jerry Turner and Al Sanders were there, Marty Bass. And Ope. She was new. Pretty much right out of the box. She did features and co-hosted People are Talking with Richard Sher. Let me say upfront that I think that Oprah Winfrey has accomplished more than most could in a normal lifetime. It's quite true that she came from nothing and built an empire. It's also quite true that she worked her ass off. She has EARNED everything she has. No beefs with that at all. The personal Oprah that I knew was, however, imperious and demanding, and most of all ... overly dramatic. And, she was mean to the underlings. She also struggled with emotional issues - up one day, down the next. No judgment on this from me, for sure. But she is human. I didn't like her then, and she's done nothing over the years to change that opinion. She is one driven individual. Don't get in her way.
The BEST meeting of an entertainment celebrity for me was, hands down, Kris Kristofferson. (The Bangles charting #2 and Alice Cooper #3) Kim Armistead and I headed down to see Kris in a small club in Virginia. He announced right off that he was only going to do his songs, none of that "commercial crap." I assume he meant the songs from A Star is Born (and yes, there was a movie before Gaga). I would have sold my kidneys to meet him. Kim and I used to call ourselves The Bitch Brigade. So named because we took on a pre-school teacher who had insulted my child. I think she lost her job. There's a lesson in this: don't fake your credentials. So there is power in this couple, trust me. Anyway, after the show, Kim joined one of the roadies she'd met to see if we could get backstage, while I hedged my bets by heading to the parking lot to hijack the tour bus. Unfortunately, as is often the case with me, I am more like a whale in a china shop than anything else, and I didn't see an enormous pothole that lay in wait for me. Down I went. Now, it's important to understand that I was dressed as any early 90s Mom would be dressed. In yellow leggings and matching tunic. I looked like an overweight bumble bee. The leggings didn't take the fall well, and ripped down one knee, exposing my bleeding shin. The ONLY thing I was grateful for was that no one had seen me.
About that time, Kim bursts out the door and is yelling at me to get up off the ground (she never even inquired as to why I was there. My friends are used to this behavior). She had managed to get us backstage. Just. Wonderful. I'm gonna meet the sexiest man on earth in ripped up yellow leggings and bleeding knees. Of course. Could it have worked out differently? Sure. I could have broken my legs.
So, I follow Kim sheepishly into the venue and we're escorted through a curtain into a good sized room with refreshments, etc. And there, THERE was Kris Kristofferson. Dressed head to toe in black. I was speechless. And he walked over to us. I can't even imagine what we looked like. Me dressed like a bumble bee holding one of his album covers (oh the groupie in me) and Kim searching through her bag to find something to get signed and weakly producing only a Giant grocery receipt. The things we do.
For almost an hour we stood and talked with Kris. Just us. It was unbelievable. We talked Barbra Streisand (she did indeed scratch him in the sex scene in A Star is Born), we talked Nashville. He opened his wallet and showed us pictures of his kids. It was unbelievable. He is one of the kindest people I've EVER met in my life. As we were leaving, he asked if me if I wanted him to autograph the album cover. I'd forgotten all about it. I told him I did. And he asked me what he wanted me to write. I figured "would you marry me" was out. In the end, I opted for him to address the autograph to my good friend (and guardian angel in life), Zoa Ann. She and I had obsessed over Kris for years, and had gone to see him and Rita at Merriweather Post. I missed an opportunity to have it for myself, but honestly? OMG. I was touching Kristofferson's arm. It was the least I could do for Zoa.
Kim got her grocery receipt signed.
I wish you all love ;)
An Existential Moment
My world kinda changed last Friday. It had to be something big for me to come back to blogging. Maybe this was the kick I needed. Friday, late afternoon, I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I was vomiting, had diarrhea, and my body had seized into one huge charley horse. If you've ever had one, I want you to try to imagine what it feels like to have your entire body (and I'm not exaggerating) cause such pain that death looked good.
Not being overly dramatic, trust me. But it does bring me to this post. Something happened during this event that has never happened to me before and I wanted to share. I debated it because I know that not everyone shares my views (a few do, I guess). But, I'm going to tell you what happened, and you can draw your own conclusions.
I had been in active gastro distress for about 5 hours. There was nothing left in me. Every time I'd lie down, I'd be forced back to the bathroom. This isn't anything new - we've all had the flu or whatever - so except for feeling crappy, I was okay. But then my body seized. And I mean, it seized. I fell off of the bed and was literally watching my body go rigid. I couldn't stand up, I couldn't do anything except scream in pain. And I don't mean an "hey I hurt myself" scream. I mean a howl.
We have a different situation here at home than most. Dave can't use the stairs and I was up in my room. Plus, where his room is located makes hearing me difficult. I had no idea if he could hear me and all I could scream "was call 911." I didn't get any response and I knew that if I didn't call them, something unfortunate was going to happen.
At this point, I am lying on the floor thrashing in pain, trying to reach my phone on the nightstand above me. I finally knocked it over (as well as my coffee cup and a can of soda - all full) and was barely able to press Siri to call 911. Understand that this pain was unlike anything I'd ever tolerated - and I've had needles stuck in my eye. My body was beyond responding to me. All I could do was moan and scream.
I was able to get 911 on the line and dropped the phone on the floor and rolled toward it to talk to them (yes, it was on speaker). I told the guy I was dying. And I was. I knew, in the back of my mind, that if I didn't get to a hospital soon and get some help, my heart would likely seize as well and that would be it. The dispatcher was amazing, and once I realized he had the info he needed, I drifted off. I literally drifted away. I remember two things: one, I knew I was dying and two, I was okay with it.
My life didn't flash in front of my eyes. I didn't think of Dave or my children. I felt a calmness that I can't even figure out given the amount of pain I was in. I just knew that this was "it." And my mind went somewhere, and it was a good place. No, I didn't see a light or tunnel, I just had a certainty that I was going to be all right. In fact, I was so assured of it (somehow) that I began to actually look forward and was intrigued by what was next. It was the most astonishing feeling I've ever had. On the one hand, I knew I was in danger and in pain - on the other, I knew that if the EMTs didn't get there in time .... it was going to be all right.
I haven't a clue how long this all took - Dave was at the foot of the stairs and let the EMTs in - he may have a better idea of how much time elapsed. All I knew was that I was lying in my own waste, contorted, and yet ... I knew it was okay. When the EMT's arrived in my room, I 'returned' (if we want to call it that) and with it came the pain, the disgrace of being soiled and naked in front of these strangers - all that comes with that. The peace I'd felt was replaced with pain and all I knew was that it wasn't over.
My life wasn't over. Not this time. I'm honestly not even sure how I feel about it. You have to understand that there was such calm, such peace. My physical body was being tortured, but yet .. it was okay. And as I was lying in the ER and everything was being done that needed to be done, I flashed back to that moment and was just astonished at what had happened. Ian came to the hospital and I stupidly confided that in him. It's surely not what he wanted to hear, but I felt like I needed to somehow memorialize what had happened. It was THAT profound.
I stayed in the hospital not quite overnight and have spent the past few days regaining my strength. My body felt like a truck had run over me. All of my muscles hurt. I lost ten pounds in it all.
I have often said that most feel that we are human beings with souls. I believe that we are souls with human bodies. And I am more sure of that now than I ever have been. I was ready to go, I was happy to go. Going was easier than staying. But it wasn't time. I've read so many of these kinds of experiences, that it is almost insane that it happened to me. But, it did. And while I have always been accepting, I now know that there is no fear in it. No pain. Death doesn't frighten me now at all.
There are several medical issues that I need to have taken care of - nothing severe, but definitely important. I am working on that. With respect to what happened - I'd started a new antibiotic, which could have caused it, or it could have been as simple a thing as food poisoning. Either way, my white blood cells were trucking along at 21,000 - fighting like they meant it. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful that nothing more came of this.
More than anything, I am just happy. Happy to be wherever I'm supposed to be, doing the things I'm supposed to do. Happy knowing that, God willing, I will be okay no matter what.